2010 Recap via Pictures

from turning 16, to going to my first dance, to getting my first real boyfriend, to getting my wisdom teeth removed, to finally being happy with myself, all the way to chopping my hair off, 2010 has been one heck of a year. one i loved & hated at some points. one i was happy i lived through! i loved 2010, & i think i've learned more this year than i ever have in previous years. i'm not sad to see it go, i'm just looking for something fresh & new. i will never forget 2010 & i'm happy about that!
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3.

{one} we went to temple square just a few days ago with our long, lost friends the mccleves. it seriously was so much fun! we went to macaroni grill, then to see the temple lights. guess what? i was not totally prepared for walking around in actual COLD weather! it was definitely a lot different than what i've been used to..best part about going to the temple? i saw nate, sam, and jaren. some of my most favorite boys ever! i can't wait for new years eve!

{two} we watched inception last night, & guess what? i loved it. i love, love, love, love inception. the fact that a single person can actually think about something that intense and descriptive is beyond me. plus+ looking at joseph gordon-levitt throughout the whole movie wasn't really a bad thing...mmmmm!

{three} we had one of the biggest and best storm ever. powder up to my knees on almost every single run. talk about amazing-perfection-beautiful-in love-day. i've never been in better snow in my whole entire life! worshiping powder. loving powder. and guess what? on my roxy rockers, it was absolute perfection!

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I'm..Coping.

slowly, but surly, i'm getting there. it's not going to happen over night, so you might as well stop pushing it, *cough* family! *cough*
i'm in utah right now. park city, to be exact. i love it up here. it's beautiful. i think this is helping..helping me let go. let's face it, i'm being dramatic. and guess what? i don't care. this is one of the hardest things that's ever happened to me, *i know what you're thinking: i must be doing pretty good.
when i think about it for long periods of time, i get really sad and just want it back. but when i ignore it, it hurts a little less. i need to grow up and learn how to deal, because i'm almost positive ignoring the situation isn't going to get anywhere.

even though the timing for all of this was just completely off, i'd just like to say thank you. thank you to you and your family for putting up with me these past 9 months. you guys treated me incredibely great and now that i don't have it, i'm realizing how much i miss you all. you guys will always mean the world to me, especially you. i'm glad we can be friends, at a distance, because i'm not sure i could ever completely cut you out of my life. this won't be easy, but we'll survive. don't forget about me! i promise i won't forget about you, pinky-pointer-thumb.
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Christmas.

one word to describe this moment...ballin'.
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Not-So-Typical Christmas Eve.

this year was a little different for me.

i got my heart broken.
i won't be getting kissed under the mistletoe by that one, "special guy."it kind of sucks. but when all else fails,
i have the funks.
they've always got my back.
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This is how I feel...

I'm Sick.

my family isn't the type of people who get sick very often, but this obviously wasn't the case. my sister rachel was sick for about 2-3 days. once she was over it, it hit both my parents simultaneously. now that they're basically done with it, i got it. the start of my break, i wind up sick. seriously, just what i needed.
i've got a fever.
i have more mucus and congestion than ever before.
my whole entire back is extremely achey.
i take 3 bathes a day, hoping that'll help me get better quicker.
i'm always sleeping.
i've worn the same exact outfit since monday: hoodie, tshirt, and pajama pants.
my hair is an absolute disaster.
my calorie intake is 0. i haven't eaten since monday.
i hate being sick. i hate it. i'm so miserable and i just want to be better. i cannot wait till this "little bug" goes away. i'm so over it.
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Europe.

european fashion: someone finally understands how i truly want to dress. obsession.

seriously, those knee high stockings? dying.

those enormous buttons are UH-MAZ-ING.

the skinniest skinnys ever. and i need them.

once again, the stockings..stunning. and that beanie? ugh.

WORSHIP THESE SHOES! and her clever belt? 100% perfection.

these people know what's up.

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12/16/2010

my eyes burn and are more swollen then they've ever been.
my stomach can't seem to muster up any appetite.
i only slept for about 2 hours.
i don't know what's going to happen anymore, and i don't like that.
i feel incomplete.
i have 2 finals today.
i wish this didn't have to happen.
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2 Types.

there are two types people in life, i think. there are savers and there are supporters.

{savers} savers are those people who are always looking out for other's best interests. that means, some times you have to be harsh and you have to be rude, but you're also only doing what is necessary to be honest. when you're asked for advice, you're not going to sugar coat it and make it any better than it sounds. perhaps, you might even tell it worse than it is. it means, when your friends ask you if they should stay with that despicable human being they call a boyfriend, and they're really just looking for your reassurance, you tell them, "no. you're wasting your time and he's making you look bad when you're not at all." savers do not let the ones they love stand idle and waste their lives away. if it means they need to get in your face for you to change, they will. these type of people are only looking out for you.

{supporters} these are the people you always can count on. when you're crying over a mistake you keep repeating, they say things like, "i'll always be here..it'll be ok." supporters are the people who support their friends through thick and thin. if they think the truth my hurt you, they choose to ignore it and maybe even tell a white lie. these type of people will stand by your side when you're only bringing destruction upon yourself. they're the ones that say, "i'll love you no matter what happens." they love you for what you are and would never do anything to hurt you.
i think both types of people are great people. they each have their pros and cons, but that's life.
which one are you?
a saver..or a supporter.
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Doomed.

{bad news} it's finals week, and i really can't even tell you how much i am stressing out over my anatomy and math final. i've got my history final done.
hallelujah for curves!
so i just get to chill in there for the rest of the week, which is SO nice. i have a feeling i really should study anatomy every waking second this week, just to be sure.

{good news} i went to backyard tacos for my first time last night. let me just tell you, i am in love! mmmm, it was so dang good! i'm going back next weekend. i'm taking tanner and aubree, if anyone else would like to join. it literally is a mexican family who started a business in their backyard. you walk through their back gate and there's picnic tables and the grill. it's seriously so funny and cute and delicious! they make everything right in front of you, and it smells absolutely fantastic! the best part? tacos are only a dollar! i am obsessed.
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Overdue.

this trip was so much better than going to winter formal. my teammates are seriously some of the funniest kids in the whole entire world. their humor is dry and stupid, but i just can't help to laugh. you guys are such great friends and i'm so happy i came back out this season. you guys are one of the main reasons i stay happy.
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ps-i cannot wait to be here!

8:55 pm.

it's a school night. i'd usually be in bed by now, but i'm not. for some odd reason, i don't think i could fall asleep even if i tried to right now.
too much is on my mind.

i miss brittlyn. i want to go up to the snow and ski my heart out. i've been running so incredibly hard lately, but no body has noticed. i wish brooklyn lived at home. i'm glad courtney lives down the street from me so i can vent to her. i really want the canon rebel for christmas, but that's probably not going to happen. i am so confused why people still have bad things to say about me. i feel bad because my friends have to put up with me. i wish i didn't have a huge nose. i wish i could run faster, and better. billy orman is my new idol. the new coldplay song makes me a little bit sad, but in a good way..if that's even possible. i wish i was a genius when it came to school, i really need help. my back hurts all the time, but i've never complained about it till now. natalie wall is an amazing photographer. the first time i cleaned my dad's office, i was grossed out, but now it never seems to get dirty. i wish i didn't pop my fingers so much and i wish i had a good voice. i'm kind of upset right now. i want my grandpa to come back and see the blue christmas lights my grandma put up in honor of him. i care about my cousins a lot more than think. diego learned to howl and it was awesome. i am getting sort of tired. i wish i was in college already. secretly, i have so many inspirations to be so many different things in life. colleges are calling rachel, and not me..i'm a year older. i need to stop procrastinating. tomorrow, i'm dissecting a sheep's brain and i'm extremely nervous about it. this is the definition of a rant. k, bye.

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Emily Said It Perfect.

you know when you see that special someone and your stomach turns to butterflies at the exact moment your knees give out?

and you want to jump and scream and hide all at once.

and you feel vulnerable, and funny but you like it.

and you get all dressed up and you dance in your bedroom because you feel so giddy.

and when you see them your brain starts thinking lyrics by coldplay.

well that's how i feel when i see tanner.
he's way better than anything i ever knew existed.
you're my very best friend.
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10 Reasons Why I love Christmas

1. the lights. oh the lights.

2. the smells. everything smells so much better during the holiday season, seriously.

3. the happy attitude. literally everyone is so happy.

4. teachers seem to be giving me less of a work load. THANK YOU!

5. trees. i love me a good christmas tree. i personally love real trees better than fake, even though they take a lot of time to keep up with.

6. the music. there is so many types of christmas music! what better way to get into the christmas spirit than listen to a good christmas song? speaking of which, this one is

UH-MAZ-ING!

thank you, tanner.

7. the weather. hooray for cooler weather! and extremely cold weather in my park city house. mmm, can't wait!

8. the wardrobe change. i am obsessed with wearing sweaters and tights and all that fun, cute stuff. it makes me feel cute.

9. the treats. our family gets so many yummy things from family and friends around christmas. i just gorge. it's kind of bad, but i just can't resist. white chocolate covered pretzels? come to, mama!

10. giving. i know this may sound so cliche', but i seriously love giving gifts. it makes me feel so good when i get something for someone and they end up falling in love with it. it makes me so happy! and i am not ashamed to take the credit for giving it to them, especially when it becomes their favorite thing ;)

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